It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. It’s a necessity.

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Grief

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is one of my favorite authors, and a true pioneer in my field. Years ago, the Swedish psychiatrist began to write and research (almost exclusively) on the process of death and dying – what it looks & feels like. Side note: On Death and Dying is a phenomenal read for clinicians and non-clinicians alike. The ‘stages of grief’ comes from her work.

Grief isn’t fun, nor is it pretty. It can be really messy. The thing about grief, though, is that it’s not linear. It comes and goes, in its various forms, often without notice.

A dear friend of mine, only age 29, has lost both parents within the past five years.

Sometimes there aren’t words. I find myself almost in a state of disbelief, having known my friend’s mother since 6th grade.

As I was taught in grad school (albeit in a slightly different context), silence is okay. Sometimes we need to be the person on the other end of the phone or on the couch- crying, laughing, or intently listening. Maybe the best we can give is our presence, because that’s what the grieving person needs.

They say it doesn’t happen –

But it does. There’s research supporting this: boys and men are sexually abused.

I suppose this is weird(?) to post on Christmas Eve, but a colleague just sent me this link.

You guys know how I feel about ‘victim blaming/shaming’. It irks me to no end. While I’m on a mini soap box, it’s empowering to use the word ‘survivor’ rather than ‘victim’.

The link to the article is here. (Trigger warning: some graphic description of assault situations).

It’s officially Christmas Eve…

There’s so much to DO. Finish buying gifts, wrapping putting gifts in gift bags, go to physical therapy, call out of town family, clean, pay bills etc. I need to take the time later today (or right now) to just BE. I was reading from ‘eat, pray, love’ a bit ago and I came across something I’d forgotten. Liz (I suppose I’m on a first name basis with Ms. Gilbert haha) wrote how tough it was to be present and mindful during meditation in India… What it’s like to quiet the mind, to be at peace with oneself.

That’s desirable; yet I’m not on some super duper quest to go back to India, or to find an Ashram where I can meditate.

Sometimes I just need to SLOW DOWN & BREATHE. The world isn’t going to end if every last present doesn’t look fantastic in a gift bag or if my hair doesn’t look extra nice for those impromptu mid-present opening pics.

It’s tough to tame that anxiety. Damnit, it’s tough. Just because I intellectually know and I teach clients about reducing their anxiety doesn’t mean that my ducks are always 100% in a row.

Here’s to more moments of BEING. (And now, moments of sleeping 😴)

Eat, Pray, Love

Unable to sleep, I opened EPL where I left off the night before. I guess I read more intently, I don’t know. Gilbert just arrived in India, and is talking about the word guru and its meaning. She writes about intelligent compassion & a state of grace.

Words to ponder this morning. May we all go forward today in grace & compassion. 💗

(Words)

I love written words. Ask some of my closest friends – if I’m given even a sticky note with something nice/encouraging/thought provoking, I will save it 🙂

Some of my favorites:

“Let there be
spaces in your togetherness
and let the winds of the heavens
dance between you.”
~ Kahlil Gibran

“Dear God,’ she prayed, ‘let me be something every minute of every hour of my life.'”
—Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

If only I understood this while reading this book in middle or high school:

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I’d love to read more of C.S. Lewis:

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One week until Christmas… 🎄